Had Indian food today at some restaurant in DTE for dinner. Very delish! And the service was great. Spent over 70 dollars for it, but it was a rightful price to pay.

Oh and I wonder if this is funny to you guys. Sorry if I wasted your time...blah.

I can't seem to think of 7 things I like about myself.

I don't know why, but now, I just feel like taking a nice long bus ride. Doesn't matter where it heads.
Time is passing way too fast. Sometimes I wish that time will slow down, but then again, getting something over and done with asap may be better too, rather than holding on.

Maybe I am holding on too much on the past. Maybe it's time I let go. Maybe, I shouldn't think about it anymore and just move on. But I'm afraid I can't.

Still, contentment makes a poor man rich. Thus I'm really trying hard to be contented. With whatever I have around me, and with me. With life. With a so-called pathetic phase I'm going through now. It's not easy but still, it's never too late to start. Contentment.

I'm pretty tired of this laziness in me.
Of not doing homework till the very last minute.
Of me failing tests, just cause I don't see the importance of them.
Then wham, 2 upcoming TAs.
I really am tired of this and more importantly, myself.
Seriously, what is happening to everything?
世界上，没有了我，也都一样.

I'm fucking sick and tired already. Weekends. So?
Attending useless tuition filled with noisy fucktards who add on to noise pollution.
Attending guitar lessons when there is simply no point anymore. Without ---.
Coming back home, doing every chore you can think of. No assistance. And both parents unfit for anything. That's fine. Just get used to it, right?

Fucking shit man. Some fucked up shit. I can't find any way to cheer myself up now.

Failing all the three sciences.
Failing both e and a maths.
English is deproving. Look at how Mrs K thinks of me now. What can I do?
Studies are like that. Family. No comments.

Who am I to think of aiming high now, when my life is all fucked up?
Who am I to dream?

Failed mostly all the tests I got back. If you asked me what was the last test I passed, I wouldn't answer you straight away. Cause it happened far too long ago, and I simply can't remember,ignoring STM.

I'm pretty upset at some things now. Tried to stop thinking, yet.

I was actually very sad and having the :( moment but after seeing this, I burst in laughter.

Finally, after watching Music Bank consecutively, I found out this band Norazo. God they're funny!!!

Bb!

Feeling an unpleasant sour taste in the back of my mouth.
The more I cough, the more sour it seems to get.
E to the W...-_-..
And the phlegm.. oh my god..-_-..
The fever is going up and down like crazy. From 38.4..to 37.6..then 38.1..and afterwards 36.9.

And I slept 4 times today. Woke up @ 10am due to body aches and feeling extremely hot. Then slept, woke up, slept, woke up.

Feeling drowsy and nauseous now.
I hope I can make it on Wed.

Still, happy birthday Tan. You deserve this, and way much more. Happy 15th! Love.xoxo :):):):)

Goodnight. Shall be resting till dusk! Lol!

Thanking those who wished me happy birthday yesterday.
Thanking everyone who wished me today.
I really appreciate it!!
If you follow me on Twitter, you should know what I'm doing now!!

So yeah, I'm off!

Yes, I'm very high now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SO YEAH, BYE!

Trying to be as accurate as possible.


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF. :)

It says 23:19 in my computer. I doubt I can sleep early today!
Thanking the people who gave me presents.

It doesn't matter where I am or what I get, it's the company. So thanking Pam,Tan and Shir for today's bbq. It was fun, though we were just playing cards.

And a thousand and million and trillion apologies to Shir. For dropping your phone. First time somemore.. Sorry Shirleen. :x

Though some issues cropped up, but really in life, we can't have everything we want. I don't blame them. All I want from them is to know that I did not change. I'm still their .. I'm not gonna change...I'm not gonna have any .. now, or 2 years from now, make that 2-5 years. Whichever they are happy with. I'm still gonna be me. I just want them to understand that fact. Is it that hard? Or is it all along, I was the one that have been giving them wrong signals? Maybe I was the cause of everything. If only. If only.



First and foremost, I hope that Tan had a great bbq today. Maybe she's still there grilling marshmallows, I don't know but still, I know she had fun!!
The helium, oh my gosh. So funny!
Of course, who suggested? Me!!
Then the balloons. Gosh, look at her, completely speechless. Aw...:)

Today's floorball was definitely a good match too. After the match, went back to class for a mini party. It was fun, playing Billie Jean, Nobody, and Toy Soldier and many many other songs. Please credit my phone for providing quality music, unlike Jeremy's. Oh my god, Seasons In The Sun? Lemon Tree?! And some song called PRETTY BOY?!?! Fine Jeremy, quits. -.-
Sheesh. I got quite high in the MJ songs and Nobody. Danced a bit to Nobody. Please, you guys enjoyed it right?!?!

Pam's sleeping now. Tan is, well you know who is she with now lah hor. Shirleen is probably at home too.

Though I can't celebrate my birthday with my relatives, I thank them that they gave me a card. Well, even though it was not from all of them, but only some, I appreciate it. Well, it's definitely better we stay this way right? I'm used to it anyway.

I shall go cut the cake now.
Goodnight everyone.

I'm trying so hard, not to cry, from all the Whitney songs. Sheeeeesh. i'm gonna fail....

Still, I will come back exactly 6 minutes later.

I have been looking forward for 6th August for weeks. The surprise, or surprises I gotten were definitely memorable and sweet. Though it was just but a short dinner which lasted for a few hours, I appreciate the fact that they specially took time off to celebrate with me. Why would I ask for the sky, when I have all the stars in my palm?

I'm putting the details here so that even as the days,months and years past, and so long as my rawbutfresh is still well,"fresh", I will be able to read my archives and laugh and talk about it when I'm feeling bored or crappy.

The suspicion first fell in when I noticed Pam carrying a Taka bag with something aluminium-foily type of I dont know what the heck is that thing thing. Then you know what Pam told me? I remembered hor, Teo.
"What's in that bag, Pam?"
" No it's Tan's one. She ask me to bring for her one."
"What is it?"
" You so kp for what?"
" Er okay."
As I tried to peek inside, they kept insisting it was Tan's thing, Tan's thing.
What can I do. 2 V 1.

So, then when at Fish& Co. Well we ate there. Shall critic on the food later.
So many things, so little time sheesh. Anyway at Fish&Co Ms Tan went to the staff and gave the Taka bag to her, for I really dont know what reason. AT FIRST.

Then Pam misled me and said that that was a cake and it's for both me and Tan, since our birthdays both fall on Aug. So I was, well..okay? (you can totally imagine me saying that.)
THEN those two misled me AGAIN and said that this Fish&Co don't do birthday celebrations when I THOUGHT that they had something planned for me. So jian right. I believed them, you know. Then along all my suspicions, those two kept whispering sweet nothings to each other. If something is not going on, for the love of God please fk me. Ok ew. No.

For the cake, I hit it bullseye. But what came next was totally unexpected and the crimax.
Yah, crimax.

A male staff went up to me and asked me, "Okay whose birthday is it?"
I was totally shocked and gave the classic HUH look. I told him my name and he shaked my hand and wished me happy birthday. Then he requested for me to stand on the chair. Omg how I fucking feared that I'll fall off the chair or the chair will break or something. You know how light I am -coughs. And the chair. OMG WAS IT EVEN STRONG ENOUGH? It was like bamboo-ish, type. Omg.

As I stood on the chair, I held a sparkle. God knows how long I last held a sparkle. Which the sparks were sorta "raining" on my hand. But at that moment you really can't feel any pain at all. Only the feeling of embarrassment and awkwardness.

Then the staff said, oh my god I can remember," Okay there's a birthday girl in the house by the name of Paulynn!"
Then the staff members did a cheer.
Then they asked the people in the restaurant to sing me a happy birthday.
Now that I'm recollecting those memories, I can't help but smile about it. Gosh!!!

Then there it was. The cake that had been hiding in that Taka bag. Haha you're in my tummy right now. Okay what a joke. So it was a cake which Pam made. Carrot cake with self-made frosting with oreo if I'm not wrong. That was really super. Aw..:)

What was my wish?
Hahah, of course. I'm not gonna tell you. It won't come true otherwise. Harhar.
And I think I'll get another wish on the actual day itself? Hahahaah!

Oh they also gave me a blue heart necklace which was really another Aw.. moment. <3 style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-style: italic;">I hope that I won't throw my face during the NE Investiture.
I hope that I won't screw up in floorball.
More importantly,I hope that I'll be strong and not be so oversensitive and not think too much.
I'm too sensitive already lar. -.-!

I am looking forward to a greater day ahead.
Thank you Pam and Tan, Tan and Pam whichever sequence, for today. I love you two very much!! XOXOXOXOXO.

Goodnight sweethearts!

PS: And thank you so much Adelia, for wishing me via sms. That was really sweet of ya. :D

PPS: LOL I forgotten to critic about the food. Pictures aren't with me anyway. Hah!!

It's coming to a Wednesday but I keep thinking tomorrow's a Thursday. And I'm not the only one feeling this way.

Well. I did something ridiculous today. Make that all the NE Champs. For the investiture, we have to make such an awkward entrance at the later part.. I'm praying I won't trip over a bag or a file. Planning to skip tomorrow's and Thurs' rehearsal. LMC is really very ks. Like seriously.

And something very saddening is that I left my SYF costume in the lab. Which really sucks. Really really really really really fucking sucks.

This week has been very hectic. Look at the amount of hair I've dropped. Ever since last week,we had taken at least 2 tests. This week there's 3. And the next, we'll have 2. I'm tired. Really tired. I don't have the extra energy to even talk at home. Now, I just either "mm" or "yah". Which my family is starting to get edgy about.

And tomorrow's PE. I'm planning to sweat out as much as I can. Releasing endorphins will make one feel good.

Aiming to pass my Amath TA. Since my Sciences are all like shit now.

Ending with a sigh. Goodnight.

Sigh. I don't even know whether I can even be in a joyous mood on my birthday. I mean. On the actual day. If I'm thinking too much, then fine. Case closed.
.
And guitar class tomorrow, he's not there. Rephrase. He will not be there till maybe Nov. What if he doesn't come back thereafter? I won't get to see him anymore. Why can't I at least have a beautiful ending to this?...

Doing a quick one. School was okay. English was fun, as always. Something funny about Mrs K is that she talks about one thing, then links it to her own personal experience, and then later on she'll ask us "Where were we?" and then we'll all break out in laughter, or maybe just me, and the cycle continues. Of cause it's not funny if I'm saying it like that. Math. Mr Ang was weird. Asking me what's my problem when I don't even have one. (Even if I did, I wouldnt ask him) I was not even looking at him, btw. Pearl went for her night study today, and when she come back she told me that Mr Ang told her that my Maths was weak. Thanks. Like I don't know that. ==' And something funny was that Mr Ang wasn't in his usual working wear, but instead, he wore brown bermudas, a black shirt and he was wearing his spectacles. I tried to imagine that but, epic phail. If I saw him like that I think I would die from excessive laughter.

Hah. I'm screwed for Chem. Not even 1/2 of the revision done. I took a long nap today, from 6 to 10. I could not help it. It was straining and my eyes kept closing. And don't forget I slept at 4am yesterday, sigh. Again, could not help it..

I think tonight, I'll probably sleep at 3.

OH. One more thing that I'm really proud of. The NE investiture said that they were going to have rehearsals on Tues and Thurs. But I insisted that Thurs was a long day and that people ended at 4.45. Actually it was only one guy from 3E2. But I made it so dramatic that they made it on Wed. So my Thurs is off. It's not really cause of the long day, that I insisted on a Wednesday. Butts should know this.

I hope my mood won't ruin everything.
I hope I can control my emotions better.
I hope that I can change.
I hope I can see things positively.
I hope my family can get over this crisis.
I hope I can enjoy August with wonderful memories.

I am very amused that I have a lot of homework and I'm still posting this shit.
Let's not forget I have yet to start on my revision.
Really very..very amused.

Currently in a holiday mood woop woop! ;)

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